More About My Journey
Connection is everything.
I believe people are good and doing the best they can with what they have. We are not meant to celebrate or struggle alone — and yet so often, we do. Many of us quietly wonder if our feelings make sense. We notice that the way we express hurt or fear sometimes pushes away the very people we long to feel close to.
When we feel disconnected from those we love, our nervous systems react. We go into fight or flight. We may criticize, blame, nag, or attack. Or we may shut down, withdraw, and move away. Neither response is wrong — both are protective. But over time, these patterns can unintentionally deepen disconnection and isolation. When the cycle repeats often enough, it can feel automatic — like it has taken over your relationship, and even your life.
In our work together, we will gently slow this cycle down. I will help you explore the emotional drivers beneath your behaviour and your loved one’s behaviour. As we bring understanding and compassion to what is happening underneath the surface, you can begin to feel more grounded, more connected, and more in control of the patterns that once felt overwhelming.
When I began practicing therapy over 20 years ago, I had the privilege of working with deeply resilient, intelligent people whose actions often seemed confusing — especially in relationships with those they cared about most. They taught me profound lessons about love, pain, and the power of connection.
Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) transformed my understanding of those experiences. EFT helped me see that behaviour always makes sense in light of emotion. Emotions make sense. Sometimes they are easy to understand. Sometimes they are rooted in experiences that are difficult to think about — let alone talk about. My role is to create a space that feels safe enough for you to explore those deeper places with curiosity and care.
The pandemic challenged many of us, myself included. I found grounding in my family, my farm, and my animals. During that time, I also turned to the work of Brené Brown. Her writing and teachings helped me recognize that part of my own unhappiness came from living out of alignment with my values. Her work gave me the courage to step into greater integrity and authenticity.
Just as EFT has shaped me both personally and professionally, so has Brené Brown’s work. I am deeply grateful for the wisdom and generosity that continue to inspire me — and I bring that spirit of courage, connection, and wholeheartedness into the work I do every day.
The Story Behind the Name
By nature, I like order. I like predictability. When I take risks, they are carefully calculated — with safety nets, contingency plans, and plenty of thought behind them.
In 2011, my husband and I created a ten-year plan: buy a rural property, bring horses into our lives, and one day offer therapeutic services — both with and without horses — on our own land. It felt ambitious, but structured. Safe.
Then, in year eight, we found it — a breathtaking piece of nature that stopped us in our tracks. It was everything we had dreamed of… and full of risk. There were no tidy backup plans. No guarantees. Just a leap.
After many conversations (and many sleepless nights), we decided to take it. It was exhilarating — and terrifying. The move meant a complete lifestyle shift: new responsibilities, significant financial investment, and a steep emotional learning curve. We built a barn, paddocks, and a riding ring. We bought horses, a trailer, and a tractor. We learned about feed schedules, hoof abscesses, emergency care, fencing, and what it truly means to care for animals 100% of the time. Every exciting milestone came with equal parts fear.
That journey inspired the name of our farm: Matatoa — a Māori word meaning fearless, courageous, daring, energetic. Māori is the language of Indigenous New Zealanders. I was born in New Zealand, and though I moved away as a child, I have always felt a deep bond to that land. Choosing that name was a commitment — to live courageously, even when I feel afraid.
We moved to the property in 2019 and spent a busy year preparing to bring our equine family home. Our first horse, Beorn (Bear), boarded nearby while we searched for a companion — horses are herd animals, and Bear especially thrives on connection. In March 2020, just as the pandemic began, Bentley joined our lives. Thankfully, both horses were able to come home to Matatoa, and during the first lockdown, we had the gift of time to help them settle in. A year later, Duke, our Palomino, joined the herd — bringing with him new lessons in equine health, allergies, and respiratory care. Each new chapter required us to stretch. Each challenge asked us to be braver than we thought possible.
All the while, I continued working full-time as Manager of Clinical Services at a large Children’s Mental Health agency in York Region. I had been there for 15 years — first as a Child and Family Therapist, then in leadership. It was stable. Secure. Predictable. A consistent paycheck and benefits.
In the summer of 2021, as COVID restrictions allowed, I began seeing clients part-time through my private practice. By November, I felt a growing misalignment. I was increasingly stressed in my “safe” role, and increasingly alive in my private work — practicing in a way that fully aligned with my values and beliefs.
In January 2022, despite feeling absolutely terrified, I chose to resign.
I chose uncertainty over comfort. Alignment over security. Courage over predictability.
And in doing so, I found balance, peace, and a deeper sense of integrity than I had known before. As Brené Brown says, I chose courage over comfort — and in that choice, I found home.